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3 key strategies to handle your child’s questions about divorce

On Behalf of | Oct 22, 2024 | Divorce

Divorce is a challenging journey for anyone, but for minor children, it can be a particularly devastating event. As you navigate this pivotal time in your family life, your children may have numerous questions and concerns about what this means for them and their future. They may feel anxious about changes in living arrangements, school or time spent with each parent. By taking the right approach, you can help your children feel more secure and supported during this challenging time.

Creating a safe space for open conversation

First, establish an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. This allows your child to feel like they can share their concerns openly and without judgment. By demonstrating your willingness to listen without criticism, you encourage your child to voice their worries and ask questions they might otherwise keep to themselves.

Validating their emotions and experiences

When your child shares their feelings about the divorce, it is crucial to acknowledge and validate their emotions. You might say something like, “I understand this is difficult, and it is okay to feel upset or confused.” 

Allowing your children to express their honest opinions about both parents is also important. Do not sugarcoat the other parent’s actions or try to explain away behavior that has upset your child. Doing so could risk invalidating their feelings and experiences.

Listening and learning from your child

While answering your child’s questions is essential, it is equally vital to listen to what they are saying—and not saying. Pay attention to their body language, tone and any questions they ask repeatedly. These cues can provide insight into their deeper concerns. Encourage your child to share their thoughts by asking open-ended questions. For instance, you might ask what would make this transition easier for them or if there is anything they feel you have overlooked that could help. This approach allows your child to express needs you might not have considered.

Fostering healthy relationships post-divorce

Handling your child’s questions during a divorce requires empathy, understanding and a willingness to listen. Every child reacts differently to divorce. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, staying attuned to their needs is important to help them face the upcoming changes with resilience and a healthier sense of self.